The connection between sex and food is very common in our society. Many foods are perceived as aphrodisiacs, and the term “pleasures of the flesh” has quite the double meaning.
A person who takes pleasure in eating is often presumed to enjoy the pleasures of sex. Many movie scenes combining sex with food were implanted in our minds over the years. The ice scene and the wine and strawberries scene from the movie 9½ Weeks are of the most memorable examples.
If food and sex are so related and intertwined, why don’t we handle love making the way we handle eating? Abraham Maslow, a known social psychologist, defined Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a pyramid. At the base of that pyramid are the most primary and fundamental human needs – Food, drink and sex. But food is not merely a tool for survival – it is also a source of pleasure. The same goes for sex. We don’t merely have it to produce offspring and thus survive as a species, but also for mere enjoyment (being, apart from dolphins, the only species in the wild to do so).
At times we get very hungry, and crave to eat whatever we can lay our hands on here and now. We forget everything we know about junk food and rush out to the nearest food stall on the street. We eat with great pleasure, neglecting all thought of the damage we are doing to our bodies, with the intention of making it up to it later. Other times we plan our meal ahead, choosing a restaurant, booking a table, intending to spend money on it. Sometimes we go to a new place, sometimes somewhere old and familiar. In any case we give the meal our full attention and respect.
The same goes for sex. At times we need a quick rush of excitement, spontaneous, passionate. In an unexpected place, an unforeseeable way, or even a partner we didn’t plan on sleeping with. Other times we plan it in advance, prepare for it, choose the time and place – a hotel, a guesthouse – and treat sex with the intention and consideration we would a gourmet meal.
The right sexual path in a relationship is a combination of these two forms in our everyday lives. We need to understand sex can’t always be a gourmet meal, but we shouldn’t always choose to abandon it just for lack of perfect conditions. Sometimes sex will be fast food at a street stall, sometimes a chef dish at a restaurant. At times planned in advance, other times an unexpected surprise. Occasionally it will happen in bed, sometimes in the kitchen. Once in a while it will be romantic, others passionate and primal.
This is the way to appreciate both versions, to break the routine and spice up our sex lives, to keep the sexual flame in the relationship forever burning.
Keep leaving sex an important place in your lives!