The therapeutic Process – The First Session

 Why do many women have a hard time reaching orgasm?Much has been written about this subject including articles I have written on this website. Here, I would like to dive deeper into what we do in the first of two meetings to make orgasm possible. Positive thinking is key!
Women come to me out of duress, hardship, sadness, frustration, shame, and more. All these reasons prevent them from enjoying sexual encounters. Women go through many years of marriage and some bear children without ever experiencing true sexual pleasure and have a hard time reaching orgasm.
I understand all too well. After all, I was like that. And I took a path that led me to where I am today. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. I quickly realized that just like I could do it, so can others. Anyone with the required motivation for change and success can do it too.
I teach what I know about myself. I’m not a doctor or a technician. I can’t install a chip in a woman that will help her orgasm. I can provide women with the tools that will help them succeed if they are committed to the process.
Many women ask me about success rates. I refuse to talk in statistical terms. The most common criticism against Alfred Kinsey’s research about male and female sexuality is his use of statistical tools for such an important subject. What is important is that many women do succeed and therefore anyone can!
For many years, while searching, I didn’t really know what it was I was searching for. During love making I was all over the place both in mind and in body. During sex I moved with intensity not only physically, but also in spirit. Most times, there was no connection between mind and body. In order to orgasm, I had to fantasize. Many times these were tempestuous fantasies. Only then was I able to lose control. But even then, my orgasms were clitoral and needed stimulation with the tongue or vibrators.
I never experienced vaginal orgasm from penetration. In books and in movies you always see the couple reach orgasm together. And it was all so fast. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. Why can other women do that and I have to work really hard for it? Sometimes I couldn’t “get in the mood” and not because I didn’t want to. But because I didn’t want my husband to go through it, after all, he was after a long day’s work as well. It didn’t help knowing that he will be there for me as long as I needed him. Sometimes it seemed that he wanted me to orgasm more than I wanted it. So during the weekends I was adamant. But during weekdays I just didn’t have the mental capacity for it. I enjoyed the intimacy and I always got an amazing massage before. But only rarely could I find the internal energy to reach orgasm during weekdays.
I heard and knew that there is another sex. I was burning deeply and intensely to find out what it was. I decided to change my lifestyle. I reached 40 and my body started signaling me through injuries. I realized that awareness and knowing yourself are important components just as maintaining a healthy body and lifestyle are. I started to study. This time not about the physical. I studies NLP, guided imagination, intuition, Emotional Orthopedics, and self-awareness. I decided to expand my knowledge to therapeutics and studied Theta Healing and Bars. Through spiritual pursuits I also discovered tantric sex which I studies together with my husband. Tantric sex is truly a different kind of sex.
The first meeting is about connecting a woman to herself. It’s about uncovering the barriers that prevent her from reaching sexual pleasure.
I start the session with Bars – which is energy based – its purpose it to dissolve the woman’s perspectives which inhibit her sexual pleasure. These are barriers that the woman brings with her. Tranquility is imperative in order to prepare the mind for learning with a new and clean slate.
Many women don’t know their own bodies and especially their genitals. During the meeting I put them in front of a mirror both literally and figuratively. This is where they start their inner journey to explore and know their body. Only by knowing their body can they become aware of what is happening to it.
They next phase is learning the motion and focusing sensation to the inner place where she finds the most pleasure. All Pilates and core exercises emphasize flexing the pelvic floor muscles. The motion I teach has to do with releasing as much as flexing. What I learned is that the repetitions and cyclical nature of the movement that are caused by releasing and flexing the vagina in a certain way, help increase blood flow and sexual arousal. All this must be done while combining imagination and building up sexual energy.
It’s very important to build up sexual energy in the body, also known as kundalini. This is done in the meeting using sexual meditation during which the women imagines the movement she just learned and a mental image of her own genitals from when she looked in the mirror.
And of course, the women will understand the movement and practice it.
Between the two meetings, the woman will be required to practice with the movements – physically.
Additionally, mental attitude has an important part in assimilating the change. It is said that the brain takes 3 weeks to learn a behavioral change. Therefore, in the 3 weeks between the two sessions the woman will listen to a recording of herself saying an empowering sentence that will make her believe her own strength and ability, that it is improving every day, and that it will allow her to feel true sexual pleasure.

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